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Received from: Ken
{ Readers' Rating: 51.56% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
A mess officer was bugged because too much bread was being left
over. Some of the soldiers complained that it was too hard. The
mess officer said, "If Napoleon's troops had that bread, they'd
have eaten it down to the last crumb."
A young soldier said, "I believe that, sir. But it was fresh
then!"
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Received from: Vicky
{ Readers' Rating: 34.38% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
Miss Emily was everybody's favorite spinster. Every year, for
her birthday, she received dozens of little gifts from friends
and family. Year after year the knickknacks were added to, and
soon filled every corner of the house. On her hundredth
birthday, her niece asked what she wanted this year. Miss Emily
said, "I'll take a kiss. Anything I don't have to
dust!"
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Received from: Anonymous
{ Readers' Rating: 34.38% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of
financial difficulties. So one evening I was touched to
see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized
our marriage. "With this ring..." I began romantically.
"We could pay off Visa," he responded.
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Received from: Rani Andrew
{ Readers' Rating: 29.69% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship
of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.
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Received from: Diana
{ Readers' Rating: 26.56% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
An elderly lady fills out the registration form at a doctor's
office. After the address, the form asks for "Zip" She
writes, "Not bad for my age!"
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Received from: Charles
{ Readers' Rating: 26.56% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
A university professor is lecturing a class, the subject for the
day being the mating habits of the alligator. The professor
says, "The female alligator lays three million four hundred
thousand eggs at one time. The male alligator eats three
million, three hundred and ninety-five of those eggs."
From the back of the room, a student raises his hand and
asks, "Sir, why does the male alligator eat all those eggs?"
The professor answers, "Because if he didn't we'd be up to our
asses in alligators!"
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Received from: Danny
{ Readers' Rating: 23.44% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
A man was going through the factory of a company that made
plastic shapes. As he arrived, a huge number of horse's heads
had rolled off the line. Puzzled, he asked, "What do you do with
these horse's heads?"
His guide said, "We send them to Washington for final assembly!"
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Received from: TheWhiteRabbit
{ Readers' Rating: 7.81% }
{ Total votes: 32 }
Q: Why are robots never afraid? A: Because they have nerves of
steel.
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