Unrated Jokes of Jul 5, 2008
Next Day's Jokes
  Sign up for our FREE EMAIL LIST to get our new jokes in your email..  
Your Email:  Our Privacy Guarantee
Next Day's Jokes


legal attorney help

Received from: Lulu

One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?"

His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: TheWhiteRabbit

"RING THE BELLS OF FREEDOM" by Joyce L. Blume

Ring the bells of freedom,On this 4th. day of July,And listen for the shrilling sounds,Of the many who did die! Wave the Royal Banner,On this 4th. day of July,Lift it high toward the heavens,In honor of the many who did die! Join hearts and hands together,To form a ring great and wide,Keep safe her many memories,Encircled deep and safe inside! Her colors have great meaning,Her Red, her White, her Blue.Yes, her colors do remind us,To be faithful, brave and true. Her Red, stands for the blood shed,For the likes of you and me.If it were not for blood shed,America would not be, FREE! Her White, stands for her purity. It shines both day and night,To lift the hopes of many.As it sheds abroad it's light. Her Blue, reflects the heavens,So, look up toward the sky,And remember those who did sacrifice,On this, 4th. day of July!!

++++++++++++

Also remember the Blood shed of our Saviour,who gave us our Spiritual Freedom!

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: cutie pa2ti

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married...then it was too late.

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: TheWhiteRabbit

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: "God, please give me the strength to cross the river." Poof!.....God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me the strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof!......God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river." Poof!.....He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked two hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: Lorraine

Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day.

"I do wish my Leroy would stop biting his nails. That makes me terribly nervous!" the first one said.

"Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other woman commented. "But I broke him of that habit real quick."

"What did you do?"

"I hid his teeth!"

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: Lorraine

Census Taker: "How many children do you have?"

Woman: "Four."

Census Taker: "May I have their names, please?"

Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and Michael."

Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child Michael?"

Woman: "Because we didn't want any Moe."

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: Lorraine

A doctor died and went to hell. He was met at the gate and asked to stand in a room and wait for Satan. After 4 hours Satan finally appeared. The doctor was incensed. Poking his watch he said, "How could you keep me waiting so long!! I am an important man! I'm a doctor!"

Satan replied, "Doctors are a dime a dozen here in Hell. But I'll tell you what. Since you had to wait so long, I will give you a choice of which part of hell you will spend eternity in." Satan took the doctor down a hall and said, "Here. I'll be back shortly. You can choose between Door #1 and Door #2. I'll be back and you can let me know where you want to be assigned."

The doctor opened Door #1. Inside was an Intensive Care Unit. Blood was spurting, alarms were going off and patients were coding. A man in the corner extubated himself as a woman in the center fell out of bed. The doctor quickly shut the door and said, "My God, I really am in Hell. I'd better check Door #2."

Behind Door #2 was a Medical Records Department. Unfinished charts stretched for miles with notations about delinquent H&Ps. Message slips from Managed Care Case Managers filled a swimming pool sized bin, all marked Urgent. Inside, physicians were dictating as sweat poured off their brows. The doctor shut the door and said, "I don't know which one is worse."

Then he noticed another door off to the side. He opened it and inside was a tidy nurse's station. The nurses were all young and beautiful. There were busily making rounds with doctors and calling to obtain lab and x-ray results. They poured coffee and served donuts purchased with their own money. One doctor complained of a stiff neck and a nurse rubbed it for him. "Now this is more like it." the doctor thought as he closed the door.

Satan came strolling back down the hall and said, "Well, which have you decided on, Door #1 or Door #2?"

The doctor replied, "Actually, I would like to go behind Door #3."

"That's not an option." said Satan.

"But...that's what I want!" said the doctor.

Satan replied, "I'm sorry, but you can't go in there. That's Hell for nurses."

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: lbp

Top Ten Signs That You Know It's Time to Join Emailers Anonymous

10. You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your email on the way back to bed.

9. Your firstborn is named Dotcom.

8. You turn off your computer and are suddenly filled with a feeling of emptiness, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

7. You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop in your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.

6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

5. You find yourself typing "com" after every period.com 4. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

3. You move into a new home and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

2. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :)

AND THE NO.1 SIGN THAT YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO JOIN EMAILERS ANONYMOUS:

1. Immediately after reading this list, you email it to someone.

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum


Received from: shoola

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.

"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," he said.

The clerk put the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" the customer asked.

"For $2.00, it doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

Send this joke to your friends(NEW!) - click here

Post your comments or Visit Jokes Forum

Next Day's Jokes

See the rated jokes of this date

DISCUSSION FORUM

Archive Index

Back to Today's New Jokes, Funny Pictures and Caption Contests at Top-Greetings.com and FunPile.com
Next Day's Jokes
  Sign up for our FREE EMAIL LIST to get our new jokes in your email..  
Your Email:  Our Privacy Guarantee
For today's news spoof pictures, check FreakingNews.com
In partnership with - parallel web search engine.
Search biggest search engines with one click at Lukol.com

For more interesting facts check AskFactMaster.com - Online Encyclopedia and Dictionary - click here.

For best pages from other sites Click Here